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Resting

Do you allow yourself to rest? Undistracted, healing rest?


Staying busy is the modern way of ignoring our inner problems, fears, or discomforts. Cell phones, computers, television screens, and sometimes food or books can also be distractions, keeping us from checking in with ourselves. This often keeps us stuck in a never-ending grind, where we ignore our need for restoration.


When we slow down to rest, we become more available for life. We can tap into the vital energy of renewal, which not only heals our tired bodies and minds but also unblocks and mends our hearts, making us more receptive to the gifts life has to offer. Through rest, we can find more patience for others, practicing mindfulness to increase our clarity of consciousness. Rest brings us from an outward focus to an internal center, reminding us of who we are, what we'd like to be, and how we want to show up in the world and our community. Rest can take us from a place of overwhelm and anxiety to a grounded, calm, and focused center.


So, if rest is so restorative, why do we avoid it? At first, resting can feel uncomfortable because we often have a backlog of emotions that need to flow through us. Perhaps we're even afraid of what could lie within us. So, when we sit down to relax, our brains quickly think of anything to do instead. The floors need cleaning, to-do lists pop into our heads, or we seek a little hit of dopamine by turning on our iPads or cell phones to escape and distract ourselves, keeping discomfort at bay once again.


Think back to the last time you let your guard down when you felt you could relax and exist without distraction. And no, sleeping doesn't count. If that time felt far away, you may need to set aside time to rest now and prepare yourself for the false list of excuses that might arise telling you why you can't.


Here are a few ways to work through what might be stopping you from resting -  


Imagine what restorative rest looks like for you

If rest feels foreign or like a long-forgotten thing, try remembering a time when you felt safe and totally at ease. Perhaps you were in the presence of a friend or a loved one. What were you doing? Where were you? Close your eyes and take yourself back to that time. Breathe slowly in and out through your nose, relax your eyes, and imagine tension melting away from your body. Visualize this place where you feel safe and relaxed. Allow yourself time to take it in; enjoy it. Remind yourself that you are capable of restorative rest, no matter where you are. You can continue to use guided imagery to return to a calm, centered place to meditate.


Name the feeling

If you're feeling resistance to resting, observe the concern arising within you and name the emotion behind it. Often, it can seem like something complex or physical is preventing us from resting, such as a to-do list, but there's actually an emotion of fear behind it. Here are a few examples:

Observe the thought - "I don't have time for rest." Name the feeling - anxiety.

Observe the thought - "I've never been good at resting." Name the feeling - fear.

If you find limiting beliefs are running the show, use this exercise of naming the belief or thought to recognize what's outdated and no longer helpful for you and your life. Once you identify the emotion or belief preventing you from rest, sit with it and ask yourself what you need to feel supported and cared for. You are worthy of rest.


Face the shadow

We all contain a shadow, the parts of ourselves we dislike and wish to hide from the world. This shadow self can often look dark, scary, or grotesque. It's the part of us we feel would not be accepted by others, and we typically spend a great deal of energy trying to suppress it. But what if you knew that everyone had a shadow and that our shadows were created to serve some purpose throughout our lives, to protect us from something? Close your eyes and allow yourself to imagine that shadow; what does it feel and look like? Now imagine giving it love, as much love as it needs. Imagine being friends with it and offering it whatever support it asks of you. Spending time with yourself shouldn't feel scary; it should feel like a welcome home. Embrace all parts of you, even your scary, seemingly unlovable side.


Full body scan

When I notice the mental strain of overthinking and living too much in my head, I take a few deep breaths and envision my awareness slipping out of my mind and into my body. I start to feel aware of the weight of myself in my seat, the heaviness of my arms, and the effects of gravity holding me down. Taking a scan of my body, nothing too formal or thorough but just enough to become aware of it, reminds me I am more than just a brain; I am a body, too.

This awareness of my body is often a welcomed escape or reprieve from my tired mind. Sometimes, emotions will pop up, and other times, they won't, and that's okay. Just being present with myself is enough of a gift. Sitting with myself for a few quiet minutes can feel as refreshing as a nap or walk.


Determine your capacity at the moment

You needn't set aside an entire day to process your backlog of emotions; instead, determine the time and emotional capacity you have at the moment and work with that. Repression costs us more in the long run. So, taking time to process what needs to come up is best. Remember that you are enough, and you are perfect as you are. Emotions can feel scary, but you are always prepared; you will always be safe within yourself. Whatever you do now is what it was meant to be; progress is better than perfection. When we don't rest, we risk burning out, lashing out, and even missing out on the joys the world has to offer.


Distraction sabbatical

Take a break from social media apps or streaming services if these are the things that typically steal your attention when you sit down to rest. It's incredibly easy to jump on our phones when we're feeling irritated or overwhelmed, as we may be experiencing a lack of dopamine at the moment. Our phones serve as an artificial source of pleasure and escape. This can also be said for any dependence, whether television, fantasy books, or food. Taking away the potential for distractions leaves us with no choice but to face ourselves and the feelings we might be avoiding.


Journaling

When thoughts become too heavy or overwhelming, writing can help clear them from our heads. Writing out your thoughts, feelings, or experiences from some of the exercises above can be a helpful way to process difficult emotions or sensations inside ourselves. You can also look for guided journals that offer writing prompts to deepen your connection with yourself.


Movement

Like journaling, when sitting with our thoughts feels too difficult, taking a mindful break to move gently or exercise can be a therapeutic way to reconnect with ourselves. Consider going for a walk without your phone or sitting down to stretch with the intention of being fully present with yourself.


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Resting is as essential to our health as water or food is. It allows us to refill our cups, reconnect with our most authentic selves, and show up in the world with a more open heart - grounded and centered, unshakable in the face of challenges that come our way.





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