When you realize that anything out of your control should also be out of your mind, you can bring great peace to your life.
Stressing about running late will not suddenly make you on time.
Staying upset about a mistake you, or someone else, made will not undo it.
Worrying about future plans will not influence the outcome.
We can hope for the best, put forth our greatest efforts, and mindfully set intentions or send manifestations into the Universe. Still, we must not become attached to one specific outcome. We must recognize that we do not control anything in life except ourselves. Only the way we look at and react to our lives, the attitude and perspective we hold, can shape our experiences—not any event or outcome, but our reaction to the event or outcome can bring us satisfaction and joy or pain and suffering.
Staying flexible and releasing control allows us to appreciate and recognize the good that can come from any scenario.
To do this, we must be willing to release control—to loosen the strangling grip we hold over life and things outside our control. We must learn to surrender to the flow.
This is much easier said than done.
Our minds typically prevent us from relaxing and staying flexible. They wish to run the show, insisting that worrying or obsessing can influence any outcome, but we know this isn't true. Our mental chatter is a distraction, preventing us from achieving true satisfaction and bliss.
Life is much more fun when we ride its waves, guided wherever the Universe wishes to take us. Think of the enjoyment you could feel if you were game for the ride, the energy and bliss you might achieve if you quit fighting against the current, and the satisfaction you might find from loving what you have while staying excited for the surprises the Universe has in store for you.
So, here are some ways that have helped me let go, surrender, and accept—to go with the flow rather than drown myself in an upstream battle.
Journaling - Journaling gives us a space to release and store our thoughts, allowing our brains to let go and move on. It also allows us to process our emotions, learning why we might have difficulty releasing control.
Here are some journaling prompts that help you surrender and see the balance in all things and outcomes. Nothing is entirely good or bad.
I see the things I don't like about X, but how has it actually worked out to my benefit? What are the positives from this outcome? Be careful not to push toxic positivity, but actually challenge yourself to see how something may have actually worked out for the better. Find both the good and the bad in it, listing out both, until the weight of the pros and cons eventually makes X neutral or until you can feel gratitude for X and the challenge and growth it has brought.
Write out examples of past challenges or misfortunes you have experienced. Did you make it through them? What growth or changes may have come from them?
Write out examples of times you released control and let go of fears, allowing whatever to happen. Did things work out okay? If not, what were the pros and cons? List them out like in the first prompt until you see that there were seeds of both good and bad in the outcome and that it was really neither good nor bad, but simply just an event.
What does surrender mean to you? How is it different than giving up?
Meditation - It can be difficult, almost uncomfortable at times, but the practice of meditation becomes easier the more you do it. If you're new, consider searching online or on your music streaming platform for guided meditations.
Contemplation - Unlike meditation, contemplation involves posing a question and allowing ourselves to ponder it. Less so a mind activity and more so a bodily experience, contemplation encourages us to move away from our analytical brain and into the emotional and creative side of our brain, connecting us to our heart, the part of us that knows most deeply.
Sitting quietly, with or without a pen and paper, ask yourself why you cannot release control. What do you fear losing in the process? What do you fear gaining? What would it mean if something did not work out how you wished it to? What part of you would be disappointed? Would you be disappointing others? Allow any thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or judgments to arise, no matter how silly or scary they may seem. They hold a lesson, a realization, and allowing them to surface will enable them to be transmuted.
Yoga - Sometimes, the thought of meditation or contemplation can be too much, especially when we feel like we cannot escape our thoughts. Yoga encourages us to drop out of our minds and into our bodies, inviting us to "arrive" and settle within ourselves, finding our center, our heart space. When I "arrive" to myself, taking a few deep breaths, the relief I feel can be magical, opening up space for feelings to flow through me, to be released or transmuted.
Movement - Similar to yoga, any movement can be a welcomed change from the stagnation or irritation we may feel from sitting too long with our thoughts. Movement can be a playful release, reminding us not to take life too seriously.
Pausing - The act of pausing invites space into our life. By pausing to take in the world around you, we can tap into more of the beauty and love that exists in every nook and cranny of our world, in every moment. Pausing helps us slow down and take in life. It reminds us that life can exist in many planes, including one where we are rushing through life without mindful intention and one where we are more patient, slowing to the pace of nature, learning the secrets for a good life, one of which is going with the flow.
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