While sitting in the quiet room of the acupuncture clinic, I looked at a small tree whose branches spread out before me. Its small, slender trunk was fastened tightly to a wooden rod for support, a small detail that could easily be overlooked while admiring its beautiful leafy branches.
It had been a while since I'd come in for a treatment, and I knew my body was overdue for it. On the drive to my appointment, I reflected on how busy and fun my last few weeks of life had been. Unlike many weeks over the previous few months or even the last few years, I hadn't held any specific expectations for myself; I hadn't told myself I must do this or should do that. If I didn't feel like getting something done, I wouldn't let myself feel guilty but instead accept it and let expectations go.
I thought of the structure I'd lacked over the last few weeks and what growth that may have cost me. But without the joy and freedom of letting myself feel loose and fun, what sort of growth might I have missed out on as well?
The tree above me was tall and slender, no doubt going to continue growing, but it was held upright by a thin stick, which helped encourage it to grow straight. The stick held it up until its bark had thickened to hold itself, providing structure.
With that structure, the tree would eventually grow taller and stronger. However, too much structure might restrict the tree and stunt its growth, preventing it from branching out and halting its beautiful and wild nature with too much control.
There's a balance we must find in life for optimal growth. How do we allow ourselves the fun and freedom we so deserve, the stuff that ignites our passions and makes us excited, while remembering the importance of structure to building the best habits that support our lives and, in turn, nourish our dreams?
Here are things that have supported my fun and freedom, as well as practices that have helped me stick to a healthy structure, keeping my life in a better balance.
For fun & excitement -
Taking adventures - going on hikes or walks in nature or in new surroundings, taking trips, whether big or small, visiting new shops, cafes, or restaurants in neighboring towns.
Reading - Better than television, reading encourages us to think and imagine for ourselves. It transports us to new dimensions and can teach lessons along the way. It can also be just downright fun to leap into a new life and break from reality with a fun fiction novel.
Exploring passions - Taking time to try new hobbies, sports, and other interests reminds us that we do deserve pleasurable things and time to ourselves. Go ahead, buy that paintbrush, pick up that pickleball paddle, or dust off your bike seat and go for a ride.
Connecting - Being with others can offer much inspiration, so taking time to call and chat with friends and family can not only cheer you up but also help you solve problems and not feel so alone in your struggles. Being with animals or surrounding yourself with plants can offer similar feelings of connection to something greater than the self.
Make time for play - As a child, I remember wondering how I would ever be able to go without recess. I would look at the high school near my elementary school and wonder if I would one day miss having a playground. As I grew older, I didn't think I even allowed myself to miss play because other concerns and mental chatter filled my mind as a pre-teen. But this doesn't mean we were creatures intended to grow out of play. So, if you need to figure out what constitutes fun, ask yourself what you enjoyed doing as a kid. It may have been playing outside, arts and crafts, creating dance routines, or playing video games.
For structure, I've tried some 30-day challenges to see what habits can do for me and what lessons I can learn from staying committed to myself. Setting challenges can be helpful in teaching you that it is possible to remain committed to yourself and your higher goals. Here are a few actions that I have learned from different challenges that have become non-negotiables.
Journaling - It varies whether I journal in the morning or evening, but I try to always journal about what I'm thankful for and what makes me stressed. This self-reflection helps me identify areas in my life that need attention or love.
Movement - Strict exercise routines can be tough when I'm dealing with some body pains or even when life feels too busy. So, staying flexible about the kind of movement is key. I hold myself accountable for at least 30 minutes of any sort of movement every day—walking, stretching, or any form of exercise can count. We are active creatures, and we cannot age well without moving, which is the key to vitality and sustaining our life force energy.
Outdoor time - I make it a priority to spend at least 5 minutes outside every day. This is a small feat, but it can be tough on my busier work days. However, even the smallest amount of outdoor time helps to keep my mental health in shape.
Eat your veggies - I like to snack at night, so it's a must that I get a serving of vegetables with dinner. This helps me feel full and reminds me to eat nutritious foods.
Fasting - Going without food, also known as intermittent fasting, has taught me much about my body and mental health. It is not a practice meant for everyone, but I've set the personal goal of intermittent fasting for at least 2 days a week.
Screen time limits - As I'm sure you know by now, increases in screen time are correlated with decreases in self-satisfaction, self-love, and more. So setting time limits, such as 20 minutes of Instagram or Facebook a day or no social media after 9 p.m., can do wonders for your mind.
Reading - Reading is so good for us, so I set the goal of reading for 15 minutes daily. It can be a book, news articles, or anything that interests you. You will likely feel a sense of accomplishment for even just a tiny amount of reading since you're learning something new and working some mental muscles.
Scheduling time for yourself - If you have a big goal or dream you're working towards, no one will help you get it done but yourself. So look ahead at your calendar, carve out time for yourself, and then hold yourself accountable. The struggle to get it done will feel like nothing once you've accomplished your goal!

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